derridian | Fic: Dead Again

Even though I'm spending a lot more time on LiveJournal than usual because that's where the Generation Kill fandom is, this is my primary journal and I've randomly decided I should post my paltry two Stargate fics here for completeness sake. This is the first one.

Title: Dead Again
Fandom: Stargate SG-1
Lenght: 491 words
Smut Level: absolutely none
Set: sometime around 'Reckoning Part II' or 'Threads'
Notes: Jack's POV, in case that isn't clear
Beta: nope, too short to bother

Daniel’s dead again. Probably. And I just can’t make myself care anymore.
Carter keeps on at me to do something though I don’t know exactly what it is she expects me to do. Have a memorial service? We’ve all mourned him so many times in the last eight years that I can’t do it anymore. I don’t know how she can stay on that particular emotional rollercoaster ride. Daniel’s dead. Daniel’s not dead. Daniel’s dead. Daniel’s not dead. He’s like that cat in a box Carter talks about. If we don’t open the box, well, then he’s dead and not dead all at the same time. I vote that we keep the lid on it.
You gotta wonder about someone who can’t make up their mind whether to be alive or dead. Hell, one of the first things he did after we met was to go off and get himself killed. Admittedly it was to save my life, which was nice of him and all, but still, I’m thinking maybe I should have had some idea where it was going to lead. It’s become like a hobby for him and I can’t take it seriously anymore. It’s too hard on my heart.
At least this time he’s gone off and done it somewhere else. I never want to have to watch him die slowly and painfully again, flesh melting off his bones, barely held together by all those bandages. I think that was when I just stopped caring.
Carter kept on at me after that time too. He seemed so much more dead than usual and I just went numb. I know he was ascended which is not really dead but it’s close enough. Except for the occasional visit it certainly felt like he was dead. I mean, it’s pretty much the same thing isn’t it? Someone disappears from your life and you have no way of contacting them, no hope of seeing them again in the future. That’s what death is. People going to a place where you can’t be with them anymore. So, in a way, I guess we can count his year on Abydos as another one of his deaths. God knows, I used to keep count. I stopped somewhere around four or five, just because it’s actually a really weird thing to do. Keeping score, like it’s a hockey game. I wonder if he’s up to nine yet? Maybe he really is a cat.

Huh. See? Not dead. Naked. Naked and not dead. I wonder which box we tick for that? Carter’s happy. I could’ve told her. In fact I believe I did. You can’t take it on faith that Daniel will stay dead. He never does. The naked thing is a bit worrying though. And in my office too. But that’s O.K. It will give us something to tease him about until next time. And you know there will be a next time. There always is.